longlivesherlock: whorville: whorville: Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? The C I FUCKING GET IT NOW IT TOOK ME LIKE 20 MINS
homleschapel: summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
googlevideos: do you ever have that one follower who you always see in your notes and every time you see them you’re just like ‘hey there lil buddy, keep on doin your thing’
cowboybeboop: viste: cowboybeboop: reblog if u were on tumblr before yahoo bought it IT’S LITERALLY BEEN LIKE A DAY AND WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS POST only a true tumblrite would understand. you just outed yourself as a yahooligan. get off our website yahooligan!
robertoluongo: in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
dangstrider: PEOPLE WHO BUMP THE DESK WHILE YOU’RE DRAWING/WRITING
callmekitto: internetfeet: People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here” And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone” THIS EXPLAINS THE DIFFERENCE 40x BETTER THAN MY ENTIRE SEVENTH GRADE SEX ED CLASS.
tylerfucklin: can you imagine if someone sent you a list of all the reasons why they love you. why would i want blank paper
64kbps: gamsee: what do you mean i cant name my son dorito because thats nacho son
(I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
(I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
A life with Facebook sluts: .
laugh-addict: When they get a new boyfriend: Afew hours later: ‘I love yuu so much bbe.” Every status, every day: ‘I love my bbe 4eva:’ Spamming your news feeds with pictures of them basically shagging: They break up: She posts depressing status’ about how much she loves and misses him: 2 days later, she now ‘in a relationship’ with a new guy:
baby-scars: yahoo is going to delete every blog that doesn’t reblog my selfies sorry i don’t make the rules
sherlocksmyth: sherlocksmyth: one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in...
spainstateofmind: thebadwolf: Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful. you can go fuck yourself
ispeakineloquently: fudgeflies: i wonder what’s happening right now over at hogwarts probably education since harry doesn’t go there anymore